


A shadow that used to be a sister

by Mycatistryingtokillme



Category: Original Work
Genre: Broken Families, Broken Heart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-06
Updated: 2019-11-06
Packaged: 2021-01-24 03:13:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21331333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mycatistryingtokillme/pseuds/Mycatistryingtokillme
Summary: The long-overdue confrontation between two sisters
Relationships: Lila and her sister, Lila/Rue (past)
Kudos: 1





	A shadow that used to be a sister

It was one of those nights, a night where the hollow ache in her chest wouldn’t let her rest. Lila had used to toss and turn in her bed until dawn on these nights. Back when she had lost what she couldn’t replace. Lilia could still feel the weight of Rue’s body in her arms, but she couldn’t remember if it was the weight of Rue in her arms while they gazed at the stars and held each other in the meadow that warm summer night. Or if it was the weight of Rue’s body when Lila had held her as the life fled her body and left behind the hollow ache that had followed Lila ever since. When the ache first came to her Lila had been unable to drag herself out of bed. Now on a night like this Lila would go to the gym and spar with a punching bag until either it broke or she did. That’s what Lila was doing now, punching and kicking a bag just to feel the vibrations in her body, the sharp pain in her knuckles as they split open, and just because of the buzz of adrenaline that dulled the hollowness enough to where she could pretend to be ok. 

That particular night Lila had been sparing with the bag as hard as she could, but it looked like it would be a night where she would break first. She could also tell that she wasn’t alone in the gym. Lila knew who this person was, it was an annoyingly familiar presence. Lila punched the bag again and felt the satisfying break of the skin on her knuckles and the forming of blood drops, she kept up her assault on the canvas and focused on the texture of the rough material instead of the unwelcome visitor. The presence crept closer and Lila had to hide wince as the hollowness increased. She stood back from the bag and rolled her shoulders, letting the scarred skin ripple with muscle and the knots in her shoulders loosen some. Her throat was dry and she took a drink of water knowing full well that it had nothing to do with the exercise. She kept her back to the presence, which had now become a shadow. Except shadows don’t usually share your face, or play in the shade of trees with you when you’re young. And they certainly don’t betray you in a way that feels like your chest has been hollowed out. 

Lila could tell when the shadow stopped waiting for her to acknowledge it because it cleared it’s throat and Lila could picture it opening and closing its mouth, unable to form the words that were lodged in its throat. Lila kept her back to it and crossed her arms as she waited, waited for the shadow to decide how it wanted this conversation to go. She knew that the conversation would have to come sooner or later, but she’d be lying if she said that she was prepared for it. Finally, the shadow spoke, its voice was more worn than Lila remembered but it still spoke with a slight warble at the end; like a bird about to break into a morning cry. 

“Lila. Please look at me.” Lila did not turn to look at the shadow because why should she? She owed the shadow nothing and the shadow would sooner receive Rue’s forgiveness than her’s. She was tempted to say that too, but she didn’t. Partly because she wasn’t that cruel, and partly because she wasn’t sure she could say Rue’s name out loud without the hollowness in her chest bringing her to her knees again.   
The shadow let out a sigh when several minutes passed and Lila had kept her back to it. Lila could picture the disappointment and pity that were in its eyes. She idly wondered there was sadness in those eyes too, but she quickly pushed that thought away; it didn’t matter if there was sadness in those eyes. It didn’t matter if that shadow had walked across a mile of broken glass and swam across a boiling ocean, Lilia would still not forgive it. The shadow slowly moved to stand in front of Lila and she had to steady her breath at the sight of her twin, her mirror, and at one point- her best friend. Time had changed them and they were no longer identical, Lila’s hair had turned as white as snow from some long-ago curse that she had forgotten the meaning behind and was now a far cry from the shadows own chocolate brown. Lila’s skin had turned a few shades darker than the shadows light mocha skin, the consequences of spending long days walking miles in the unforgiving sun just for a chance at a freedom she wasn’t sure she had yet. Lila stared into the shadow’s eyes and was almost relieved to see that those had stayed the same between them, they both had their mother’s rich amber eyes. Lila kept staring down the shadow that had once been her sister while keeping her face carefully blank. 

Her shadow was the first to look away and Lila wished she could take the joy out of that small victory, but she couldn’t because it would be as hollow as her chest. The shadow did have sadness in its eyes, but Lila couldn’t tell if the sadness was for her or its self. Lila let out the breath she didn’t realize she was holding when the shadow had looked away, she looked up with closed eyes and muttered a small prayer that there wouldn’t be any blood spilled tonight that wasn’t hers because she wasn’t sure she could draw the crimson liquid without vomiting. The shadow returned its gaze to Lila and opened its mouth for a long moment, unsure of what to say. Lila decided to speak this time, if only so that this conversation could be done with and she could go back to pretending she didn’t have a sister. 

“What are you doing here Sombra?” Lila thinks she could see the shadow flinch at the name and Lila couldn’t even bring herself to feel bad about that, she then saw the shadow draw up its shoulders up and put on a mask of confidence. 

“I’m here to bring you home Hermana,” the shadow said with a straight face and it took all of Lila’s will not to bust out laughing, or crying because both reactions would be warranted in this situation. “There is a greater threat than anything we have ever faced and it has been decided that we need the ENTIRE family to combat it”. At this, Lila did let out a small bark of cold laughter and it seemed to have caught the shadow off guard 

“I have renounced your family,” she said in a matter of fact- almost bored tone as she thought about what could possibly have made the rest of the genocidal idiots on that gilded hill think that she would ever come back “I have worked hard to create a family here, one that won’t betray me”. Lila is sure that she sees a flinch this time and again she can’t bring herself to care as she goes through the methodical practice of wrapping her hands, more for the calming nature of it than anything else. 

She watched through her lashes as the shadow’s shoulders raise like they were attached to a marionettes string, and she watched the shadow lower its head like it was bent in prayer. There was a long moment of silence that made the hollowness in her chest almost unbearable, so much so that she was almost happy when the shadow spoke again

“Will, you ever forgive me Hermana? Or is the endless guilt of what I did to my sister, not enough of a punishment for you to be satisfied with?” the shadow’s tone is halting, almost broken and the only emotion that Lila can summon for it is pitty. 

“You do not get to decide when I forgive you Sombra, you betrayed my trust, you got the one my soul was bounded to killed, you got the one I loved murdered by our own parents, you are the cause of your own guilt and it is not my job nor my duty to cleanse you of that” Lila said in a clear and calm voice. Each word hitting the shadow like the crack of a whip. Lila gathered her things and resolved to spend the rest of the night laying in bed staring at the ceiling and trying not to think about how much she wanted to hear Rue’s voice, how much she wanted to run her fingers through Rue’s curly hair while gazing at the stars in wonder, how much she wanted to see the light from the stars flicker through her lover’s deep brown eyes like a supernova. Lila turned to leave without another word because she did not feel like she owed the shadow any more of her words. She was opening the door to step into the blissfully cool night air when she heard the shadow call again in a desperate plea of a voice

“Are we not sister’s any more than!?”. For the first time, Lila turned to look at the shadow, 

“You are my sister, but anything I felt for you other than anger died with my love, and then I let my anger go because I knew my love wouldn’t want it to burn me up.” The ghost hugged it’s self and looked at Lila with pleading eyes “Biologically you are my sister, but I can’t bring myself to think of you as anything more than a ghost”. With that, Lila stepped into the welcome cold, away from the shadow that she had once called sister. And she pretended not to hear it’s sobbing as she went back home.


End file.
